We didn’t get that much time with you…
Your love of melody and melancholy
Snickers bars and getting stuck in the Black Hills snow in your Scout
All describe your inclinations…your thing, your way.
Remembering going for walks with you in the warm summer evenings
Just to look at the Moon.
Oh, blue moon looking down on us
Smiling knowing the love shared and tragedy to come
How does one ever make sense of senseless loss?
Our hearts are only so big and when there’s a hole in your heart
You have less to work with.
I’m always sewing and mending my heart.
I think your heart was just too big for this world.
It took on all emotions and couldn’t differentiate between
What to treasure and what to let go of.
It wasn’t easy for you with a father who wasn’t around much and was an alcoholic.
He set a pathway for you that you never wanted to really take.
Your pursuit of excellence
Carried you through until your woundedness overtook you.
As I’m getting closer to the age when you died,
I have questions.
Why did you feel so alone even though many loved you?
What about living this life turned you into a shell of yourself?
Why did debilitating depression have to take you from us?
No real answer to these questions will suffice because they won’t bring you back.
I saw your spirit break, after a long battle
It was exasperated.
You had to release it.
But make no mistake, those of us left behind will always wish we had more time.
