I embraced you
thinking I’d see you again
But fate took hold and pulled you from us.
Why didn’t I say goodbye?
I wanted to thank you for all that you’ve done for me in my life.
The late-night discussions about basketball and my performance.
The traveling to and from games and the support you quietly gave me.
The ups and downs of young life and facing depression.
The loss of my father and your husband to suicide.
My brain goes back in time, and I see your smiling face
I see your hard work, the clean house and warm meals waiting for me.
Your courage as a female business owner was a shining bright light.
Your tenacity never failed, even when I wasn’t pleased with it.
I am living your life now as I raise my own children and show up for them.
But still, I didn’t get to say goodbye.
I thought I’d have more time;
You had other ideas.
Your heart said enough.
If I could have, I would have said thank you, thank you for sacrificing so much for me.
Thank you for taking care of me.
Thank you for being my cheerleader and believing in me.
Thank you for fighting for your life to live longer.
Bitterness melts away now
I forgive you for dying and leaving, but I am also
Grateful for how you chose to be a witness to my life.
Dear mother, you who brought me into this world with so much love
Help me to let you leave this world with my heart fuller,
A heart saddened but undeniably expanded.
