My children and their safety
And choices.
It’s said having them is like
Choosing to wear your heart on your sleeve.
For me it’s more like pulling out my heart
Knowing it doesn’t function like it did
Before having them and now it’s battered and stretched
And often heavy. It’s still beating, but not so sure of itself.
I envy those parents who seem at ease and just
“excited” for their children’s future.
What secret do they have? How have they
Found this sense of peace?
I know it’s about letting go of control.
But my heart knows about tragedy and loss
And heartbreak. They too will experience these things.
Yet I still choose to live,
experience joy, engage in relationships and
give Life my best effort.
Can I at least hope this for my children as well?
Yet, this big love for them
Brings out so much fear and foreboding
Questions of What if…
To be replaced with the knowing that
everything we dearly hold changes
And grows and develops into its next self,
And then that next self and so on?
I do want to give them that.
This I do know: We can’t deprive our children from
Living, feeling fear and longing and stumbling.
It is our job to help grow them and then let go,
Over and over and over again.
