by terrisearstherapy | May 27, 2025 | Poems
The love is not lost, oh no it’s not
It’s only misplaced for awhile
Can you pick it up? Can you look at it?
Yes, it’s full of hurt and bitterness
But it will lift again.
Now my heart says it hurts with the feeling of longing and sadness
What a sweet treasure you gave to your grandchildren
Unconditional love and acceptance at any second
My head turns inside, my mind remembers you
What happens to time and to joy and to loss?
It’s all there my dear, it’s all there
A mark in time is not diminished by death
Can you hold in your heart the deep love for someone
And yet also so let go of what they chose?
Yes, this deserves my attention
I will think hard on it, I will pray about it
And in the end, I know I must accept and release or
I will suffer. Who determines the outcome?
With my breath I know I am OK, I am safe.
Do you know that?
What will you do?
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by terrisearstherapy | May 24, 2025 | Poems
I embraced you
thinking I’d see you again
But fate took hold and pulled you from us.
Why didn’t I say goodbye?
I wanted to thank you for all that you’ve done for me in my life.
The late-night discussions about basketball and my performance.
The traveling to and from games and the support you quietly gave me.
The ups and downs of young life and facing depression.
The loss of my father and your husband to suicide.
My brain goes back in time, and I see your smiling face
I see your hard work, the clean house and warm meals waiting for me.
Your courage as a female business owner was a shining bright light.
Your tenacity never failed, even when I wasn’t pleased with it.
I am living your life now as I raise my own children and show up for them.
But still, I didn’t get to say goodbye.
I thought I’d have more time;
You had other ideas.
Your heart said enough.
If I could have, I would have said thank you, thank you for sacrificing so much for me.
Thank you for taking care of me.
Thank you for being my cheerleader and believing in me.
Thank you for fighting for your life to live longer.
Bitterness melts away now
I forgive you for dying and leaving, but I am also
Grateful for how you chose to be a witness to my life.
Dear mother, you who brought me into this world with so much love
Help me to let you leave this world with my heart fuller,
A heart saddened but undeniably expanded.
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by terrisearstherapy | Apr 23, 2025 | Poems
I begin again,
Oh sweet soul how do you feel?
Sit beside me now and speak.
I respond with pondering this Life.
Living it is like being inside of a square
All the angles lead you on different paths
And guide you towards a direction
Somehow though we don’t see our way
Always wanting someone to tell us
“what is the right way?”
Yearning, searching, waiting to finally arrive
At the place we envision
The place we know we should be
This human condition
Of never being satisfied with what is
I too am sick of advise that tells us
To just embrace the now…
What if Now sucks???
I can’t tell you your way
But my way entangles love,
Pain, loss, fear and joy.
And of course that yearning
Maybe someday the yearning
Will settle down.
Maybe she will make peace with what is
And all that she truly has.
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by terrisearstherapy | Apr 20, 2025 | Poems
It’s harsh at first, takes your breath away and brings you to your knees
You go on throughout your day and then you remember
Their voice, their laugh, the form of their mouth, their essence
How is it that the world carries on?
Don’t they know that everything is forever changed and will never be the same?
Of course we are never ready for it,
But you can’t prepare for death, even if you know it’s coming because you don’t really know until it finally occurs and you feel it in your bones.
Missing them doesn’t stop,
It’s like swimming in the ocean,
with your body going under each wave again and again,
you come up for air and breathe for the moment
knowing, it will come back again.
Each day is long and yet you have reasons to live.
What gives your life meaning now?
Your precious family, friends or your life’s work….does it all really matter?
Of course it does, this is all that matters.
This and your solid soul remembering to live.
Even with loss, immense loss, we must live.
Even when we don’t want to, even when it feels too hard.
What measure do we provide of the love we received from them to give up now?
Yes, we must live to show others how we have been forever changed by those who’ve gone before us.
We must pass it on.
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by terrisearstherapy | Mar 6, 2025 | Poems
Waking with an ache in my heart
Music settles me but reminds me of you
and what has been lost
What do we do now?
How do we navigate this space with our hearts broken and minds wandering?
How does anyone begin again?
Surely we are not the same and yet our hands have not changed but our voice is different
When we speak now there is a different sound, the sound of grief,
the sound of what will never be again and a shift in tone that will remain.
Let my broken voice and heart connect to you so that I have the courage to begin again.
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by terrisearstherapy | Mar 1, 2025 | Poems
Manifesting what?
Abundance, stability, support
All to help you navigate this crazy life
The push-pull between wanting and letting go
What is the magic formula?
Endless searching and studying those who’ve “made it”
How did they do it? What am I doing wrong?
Always striving and pushing forward
The secret to success is found here
I’m tired
I’m tired of following you and your way
What is my way?
What is our way?
An interconnected mess
When will this soul settle down
And finally realize this is it?
Even if it feels like not enough.
I don’t begrudge you of your intentions and goals
I only remind you and myself that with every dream, every pursuit
You must hold with it
The wanting and then it’s letting go.
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