This Quiet Place

This quiet place with my mind racing
Turning towards the habit that dulls the anxiety
But amplifies the fear
It’s a vicious cycle
That either ends by choice or desperation
How do I be still?
It is said that keeping at such a pace is a trauma response
What am I running from?
The sadness, the boredom, the dullness of this life?
Sitting with this quiet brings forth sorrow, anger and regret
Being with these emotions allows them to fade
Isn’t this better then swallowing them inside
Sitting like a rock in the bottom of your belly?
What if I told you that the stillness you so readily avoid
Is the key to your healing?
Or at the very least, it begins to open the window
So you can feel the breeze, the sunshine on your face
And let Peace into your soul
Finally, finally
Now, you can breathe.

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You Must Begin Again

I believe in joy
And I believe in anger
In so much as it helps you navigate change.
I believe in working hard
In so much as it serves you in meeting your dreams.
I believe in sacrifice
As you choose what you forgo today
For a better tomorrow.
I believe in sorrow
In so much as it helps you
Appreciate what you have,
In the midst of the loss and
As you decide to begin again.
Even after you’ve been broken,
Yes, you must begin again,
And again and again.

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The Hollow

The gutted out old tree
Letting in air
No place for growth or release.
Somewhere in the hollow
Is my heart.
Torn and pushed aside
I can sense it now.
With an in-breath comes just a touch of light
And in the hollow, this hollow
A single drop of sap seeps out.
Finally, now I settle
As I feel my heartbeat.
Let your rules of what should be fall away.
There is only room here for the broken hearted;
Those whose journey has been long.
They are returning home now
To the empty space
In the hollow.

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Move with it

When are you going to move on?” they ask.
Move on from the loss, the grieving, the ache in your bones…
But I do know this: as sure as the sun rises and sets, you will grieve.
But be empowered and emboldened to say:

Today I move with the grief, not move on from it.
The wise know we don’t ever really move on.
But we make conscious, brave choices
To move with it, inviting our whole selves
To accept the pain and still choose
to move and to live,
as fiercely as we can,
Just live.

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The Fly

Sitting in this moment of heavy thought and angst
I notice the worry I feel for their safety now and forever
Having children is the best gift with a twist
A piece of my heart is with each of them now and always
The fear of the what-ifs can bring me to my knees
Anticipation of loss is the most challenging
What centers me in all of this?
As I pause to recognize the weight of this moment
A fly comes buzzing by
How dare you fly interrupt my moment!
Don’t you know you are a nuisance?
Isn’t my moment more important, more significant than you?
The fly just laughs and carries on
No matter my worry, my striving, my existence
Time moves onward in all of its irritating
Annoying and beautiful parameters
As for the fly?
It is gone
For now.

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The Core

The core is your center
It holds your story and your yearning
It lends you its fortitude
And offers up temperance and grace.
So settle your core with compassion
And trust in yourself
And know it’s strong backbone will preserve you
Settle now, and finally rest.

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